Your Magenta Monday Magic.
We’ve already talked a lot about all of the transitions and transformations that happen during midlife. Nowhere are those changes more abundant than in our relationships, which change in (often unexpectedly) difficult ways in midlife.
You might find yourself grieving for:
The closeness you had with your kids before they headed off to college.
The friendships you made with other parents from your daughter’s soccer team fade away when she leaves for school.
Loved ones you have lost – parents, in-laws, or friends – as health issues and aging begin showing up more often in your relationships.
Your relationships with co-workers who you left behind when you retired or took a job at a different company.
And yes, you may find yourself grieving for a pet. I recently had to put my dog down; it happened relatively unexpectedly and quickly, and to be honest I am still missing him terribly. 🐶
The transition of these relationships transforms us as we navigate through loss and grief, causing us to dig deep within ourselves to discover who we are beyond them.
Even if a relationship wasn’t a good one – like when you divorce your spouse – you can still end up feeling grief for your hopes and dreams about everything that could have been.
But grief is a part of life – especially now that you’ve reached the midlife part of your journey.
It feels terrible. And often we want to push or grind our way through it quickly – to get it over with – but good grief doesn’t work that way. 😥
Grieving takes time. And compassion. And patience.
I’m here to remind you that whatever you’re going through, wherever you are in that process, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Honor your feelings. Don’t compare yourself to someone who’s had a greater loss than you.
If I said to myself, “I only lost my dog. What about my friend whose dad just died?” I would be discounting and diminishing my own feelings. In the process, I would be undermining my own grief - and with it, my healing. We’re all entitled to feel what we feel in whatever time and space we require to process it.
No, it doesn’t always feel good. But pushing it away, or beating yourself up, or wishing it was other than it is will only cause more suffering. 😩
So what do you do?
Sit in your discomfort. Our society is all about feeling good and being comfortable. But discomfort is where the growth is. And in a strange way, it’s where the magic happens – where you build resilience and strength.
It’s often that liminal space – the space between, where we sit with what is – that allows us to rebuild. It’s where you process all of the emotions – because you have to feel it to heal it, that’s where the journey to good grief begins.
It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.
A few things to remember as you move through your moments of grief:
♡ Treat yourself with compassion. Find those things that nourish you – a cup of tea, a good rom-com, an evening with your bestie – and carve out space for them.
♡ Accept what is; wherever you’re at is exactly where you’re supposed to be right now.
♡ Continue to take baby steps, one step at a time.
♡ Don’t compare your grief to anyone else’s. You get to feel what you’re feeling, in your own time, and in the unique way you’re feeling it.
And over time, as the pain subsides, you will begin to be able to think of the good times again without bursting into tears, and a new possibility for transformation will emerge.
There is beauty in that part of the transition. It’s where you’ll be able to:
Feel gratitude for knowing love so deep that the loss of it is painful.
Discover who you are beyond being a mom whose kids have left the nest.
Meet new coworkers and make new friendships.
Open up space in your heart for more capacity to love.
Be present every day – because we aren’t guaranteed any tomorrows.
Above all else, practice gratitude – you can’t avoid the painful part of grieving a lost relationship, but you can soften it by being grateful for all the love you were able to experience. ♥
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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