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Overcoming Insecurity: Building a Rock-Solid Foundation Through Self-Growth


Live with intention

Your Magenta Monday Magic.


Surrounding Yourself with Positive and Supportive People

“…but only if you’re standing in the eye.” Brandi Carlisle


As anyone in midlife will tell you, the only certainties are change and transition. Job changes, retirement, kids leaving the nest, divorce, loss, overcoming insecurity, caring for parents or in-laws – the list goes on. There are so many moving pieces in this stage that it can be totally overwhelming. 😮


All of this transition can take a toll on you and your relationships if you don’t have a rock-solid foundation. You need a strong relationship with yourself – one where you believe in yourself enough to put a stake in the ground for your own needs. 


It’s what will carry you through when things get really bumpy. ⚠️


That is what self-growth work and Overcoming Insecurity is all about!


Building a foundation that will keep you grounded in the midst of change. One that will provide you safe harbor to come home to when it feels like everything is spinning out of your control.


It allows you to be the eye of the hurricane. 🌪️


Building a solid foundation requires you to choose yourself though. And you have to do that over and over and over again. 


Last week I joked about wanting to abandon myself because I was so tired of listening to my own thoughts. Joking aside, though, we often give up on ourselves by abdicating our own power. Think about it – when have you done just that by:


  • Saying yes when you really wanted to say no?

  • Questioning your own self worth and value?

  • Letting people speak over you or for you?


When you give up on yourself, you chip away at your power, and that weakens your foundation. That’s when you start to become insecure and unsure. And when you’re in that place, you have little control over how you respond to situations. You find yourself reacting instead. You get sucked up into the chaos around you, at the whim of everyone else’s desires and not your own.


And let me tell you, that is no place to be when you are facing the changes and transitions ahead. Instead of guiding your life and choosing your next steps, you’ll end up with those choices being made for you. 


If you don’t have a rock-solid foundation, one built on your own truth, do you know where you end up? In a place where:


You are not living your life. Your life is living you.


If that doesn’t sound appealing to you, listen up. There are things you can do – small things – to rebuild your relationship with yourself. 


It starts with self-compassion; with you recognizing that none of this is easy and that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Give yourself grace when you say or do something that doesn’t reflect your best self. Just like you would your kids or one of your good friends. 💕


Cruising the ocean in Antarctica, I could have easily stayed stuck in self-judgment, beating myself up all through my once-in-a-lifetime trip. If I hadn’t shown myself some self-compassion, and pulled myself out of my misery, I would have missed out on all of the incredible experiences I enjoyed.


How do you do that though? Begin to show yourself self-compassion when you’re not used to doing so? One of the best ways to start is by speaking to yourself as you would a good friend or loved one.


Yep. Have a conversation with yourself. It might sound a little something like this: 


‘Hey, something’s up. Are you ok?’


‘I’m not sure. I don’t feel like myself. I’m having a hard time engaging with people and I’m rushing to judgment of others.’


‘Hmm. Why do you think that is?’


‘I don’t know. It may be that I’m feeling disoriented and out of my element so I feel a little insecure.’


‘That makes sense. You’re on a ship in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of strangers. You get seasick, and you are an introvert. Do you think that has anything to do with it?’


‘You know what? You’re right. I guess that does make sense. I have more thinking to do to work through this, but in the meantime, I want to make the most of this trip!’


‘Good idea. You’re gonna be ok. Just be patient with yourself.’


You get the idea. It’s a far better conversation than:


‘What the f&$k is wrong with you? You are on a trip of a lifetime and you’re being a total judgy b*&%h.’ 🤬


‘You’re right. I’m a bad person. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’ 😟


Maybe I’m oversimplifying here, but can you see how you leave yourself nowhere to go when you sit in judgment of yourself?


As we talk more about relationships this month, you’ll also see why this relationship with yourself is a key part of how you engage with the other people in your life.


 

Monday Mindshift


It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.


Take a moment to reflect on a situation where you might have given up some of your power. 


  • Maybe you agreed to take on a volunteer project instead of signing up for that ceramics class you’ve been dying to take? 

  • Or maybe you were overly curt with your barista because someone cut you off in the parking lot and you were still fuming?

  • Did you allow your son to assume you would take care of his dog when he goes out of town? (or is that just me? 😆)


If any of these feel familiar, or a similar situation comes to mind where you weren’t true to yourself, look back and ask yourself what you could have done differently. If it’s not too late, go ahead and do so.


Reach out to the volunteer organization with apologies that you can’t take on that project. Apologize to the barista you snapped at. Remind your son that he is responsible for his own dog, not you. 


Keep doing this and little by little, you’ll shore up your foundation for self-growth and overcoming insecurity, and then it’ll be rock solid, for you to stand on whenever the ‘hurricane’ hits.


Bridget



 

Living BRIGHTer is...


B - Be Brave

R - Cultivate Relationships

I - Live with Intention

G - Practice Gratitude

H - Prioritize Health

T - Live your Truth


What is Magenta?


The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.


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