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Shifting Perspectives: Choosing Your Focus for Positive Transformation

Live with intention

Your Magenta Monday Magic.

Surrounding Yourself with Positive and Supportive People

Welcome back!

If you’ve been following along this month, you should be starting to see all the ways that choice impacts your life on a daily basis.

It’s so incredibly empowering, isn’t it? When you realize that you have the ability to completely transform your own life through the collection of choices you make each day. 🚀

Every day, during a mom midlife crisis, we are faced with situations that can either bring us down or lift us up. You may not have much control over your circumstances, but you do have complete control over one thing: how you choose to view what is happening. By consciously choosing a positive perspective, you can navigate through the challenges of this phase with resilience and optimism. Instead of letting the midlife crisis define you, see it as an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and transformation. Embracing this mindset can empower you to find the silver linings, learn valuable lessons, and ultimately rise above the difficulties, leading to a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment.

You can choose to spend your precious time worrying about something, OR you can accept what is outside your control and take action to change the outcomes you can influence.

You can also utilize your choice ‘superpower’ in one more powerful way – by choosing what you focus on when it comes to those you love. 🦸‍♀️

This became very clear to me not too long ago when our son moved home after he had graduated from UW and lived in Seattle for 6 years. I was really nervous. The last time we had lived together he was in high school, and let’s face it – we are all so different now! He is a young man who has lived on his own, and we are empty nesters who have gotten used to having things a certain way in our house.

As I anticipated his arrival, and as I navigate the process of reinventing myself after the empty nest, I could feel myself regressing back into that 'naggy mom of a high schooler' personality. Needless to say, that negative energy really stressed me out... until I was able to pause for a moment and make a different choice. By recognizing the impact of my old patterns and consciously deciding to let go of them, I opened up space for a new and more positive version of myself to emerge. Instead of falling into old habits, I chose to approach the situation with a sense of calm and understanding. This shift in perspective not only reduced my stress levels but also allowed me to foster healthier communication and connection with my child. Through the process of reinvention, I am learning to embrace change and make choices that align with the person I aspire to be in this new phase of life.

Instead of dwelling on possible negative outcomes, I made a conscious choice to shift my focus. I chose to wait and see how he actually showed up, and to look for all the ways he had grown, instead of zeroing in on where he still resembled his teenaged, high school self.

And guess who showed up? A young man who did his own grocery shopping cooked his own breakfast, asked if we needed anything from the store, and (mostly) cleaned up after himself!

Rather than choosing to focus on his few omissions – like the unkempt state of his bedroom 🤢 or that he occasionally leaves a spatula on the counter after breakfast – I chose to focus on how he had grown, finding purpose as an empty nester. Reflecting on the progress he has made and the person he is becoming allowed me to appreciate his journey and the independence he is developing. By shifting my perspective and embracing the changes that come with this phase of life, I can cultivate a more positive and nurturing environment for both myself and my child. Rather than nitpicking small imperfections, I choose to celebrate the milestones and the growth that occurs during this transformative period. It is through this lens of finding purpose as an empty nester that I can truly cherish the moments shared and foster a stronger connection with my child.

And in those moments when I do have to give him a reminder or request something of him? I am able to do so with little to no emotion. I am able to state what I needed, rather than coming at him with the energy of “you always….. and I’m so sick of it!”

Choosing to shift my focus made all the difference – rather than straining our relationship, my focus on the positive allowed our relationship to evolve and grow. 💗


Monday Mindshift

It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.

Think about an area in your life where you have been focusing on the negative and try reframing it. For every negative thing you think you can see, try noticing something positive instead. Better yet? Ask for what you need in a straightforward, nonemotional, non-dramatic way!!

See if you can change your focus and flip your internal script like in the examples below:

❌ My husband never puts the bag back in the trash in the can after he takes it out.

✅ I’m glad I have someone I love to not only help out with household chores, AND I will ask him to do so in the future.

❌ We never spend enough time together as a family.

✅ I am going to focus on being present when we are together so I don’t miss a minute of the memories!

❌ I regret not getting my MBA earlier in my life.

✅ I believe we do the best with what we can and while it wasn’t possible for me while I was raising my kids, I’d like to explore that option now.

❌ I wish I still had the abs I had when I was in my 20’s!

✅ I will prioritize my health and well-being, and I appreciate all the things my body has done – and continues to do – for me.

❌ My friends don’t appreciate everything I do for them.

✅ I will prioritize self-care and choose to surround myself with people who value and respect me.



Living BRIGHTer is...

B - Be Brave

R - Cultivate Relationships

I - Live with Intention

G - Practice Gratitude

H - Prioritize Health

T - Live your Truth

What is Magenta?

The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Click on my calendar link to sign up for a FREE 45-minute Pathway to Purpose Breakthrough Session now.


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