Your Magenta Monday Magic.
“People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hanson
This month is all about relationships – more specifically, the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
How is your self-inquiry going? Don’t worry if developing your relationship with self seems to be taking some time – just keep at it! Despite it being the most important relationship of all, it may be the most difficult one to strengthen and rebuild.
As a result, many moms experience what is commonly referred to as a "mom midlife crisis." It makes sense…. As a mom, you have likely spent the last decade and a half - or more - focused on taking care of everyone else in your life. It’s only natural that you’ve lost touch with yourself along the way.
That’s why consistency in your practice of reflection and self-inquiry are so important!
We have also been talking about an important part of the process of self-discovery – learning to get comfortable with setting boundaries – which can be pretty scary!
With a little help from Brené Brown, though, we reframed the self-doubt that often shows up for us as women when we try setting boundaries. We shifted from looking at boundaries as selfish to instead see them as the way to show love. They’re a way to say “I love and respect you enough to express what is okay and what is not okay in our relationship.”
That’s how our relationships grow stronger and deeper…. Well, except when they don’t. Sometimes when we get to know ourselves better again, we see that it’s time to end some relationships instead.
When it comes to finding purpose as an empty nester, we need to be willing to examine all of our relationships through a new lens. When we can clearly see that a relationship is unhealthy, or even toxic, we will know, with certainty, that it needs to end. In other relationships though, there might be more subtle things at play…. smaller, more benign things that we are unhappy with, but that are not too dramatic. In those instances, staying in can be ‘easier’ than getting out. We’re not really honoring ourselves when we do that though.
Let’s say you are a few months into your self-discovery practice, you’re getting better at establishing boundaries, and you have started acting on some of the things you want for the next stage of your life.
You may be taking classes, starting a new job, or making lifestyle choices that support your vision for you.
Maybe you have identified that health and wellness is a high priority and that drinking no longer serves you…. But when you consider your friend group and all your usual social gatherings, you realize that things are typically centered around happy hour. This is a common challenge that women face when they're trying to reinvent themselves after the empty nest.
You’ve decided to feel it out and see how things unfold, and you’ve continued to hang out with your friends, but you’ve started to see that you don’t really enjoy the group dynamic when you’re not a cocktail or two in. Maybe you’ve also found that you struggle to stay committed to sobriety when you are surrounded by people who are drinking.
So what do you do?
Time to tap into Bravery and Boundaries!
It may be time to break up so you don’t compromise your own integrity and the goals you’ve identified that are important for you.
I’m not saying this will be easy – they’re called ‘tough’ conversations for a reason. But if you make it about you – not about them – and you do so in a compassionate, loving way that is in alignment with your values, that’s all you can do.
You are not responsible for how someone else responds or reacts to a choice you make – especially when that choice is prioritizing something that really matters to you.
You are only responsible for how you show up in the conversation. If they are hurt, they may say hurtful things – but keep in mind that’s more about them than it is about you.
Regardless of how it plays out when you assert yourself in a new way in one of your existing relationships if you do everything in your power to deliver your message with clarity and compassion, then you can be proud that you’ve done your job well.
And when you do, you will grow a little stronger and a little wiser. You can hold your head high because you have shown up for the most important person in your life – you.
Monday Mindshift
It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.
Keep at it! And as you continue with your daily practice of contemplation and self-inquiry, try slowly increasing your time each day until you’re up to at least 30 minutes of mindful reflection.
You might feel like you have answered many of the questions about what you want your life to look like, but regular reflection is an important part of continued growth.
As you get more clarity and start identifying the things you want to expand or pursue, choose one to really go after. Think about what steps you can take to make it a reality and put together an action plan to achieve it.
This is such an exciting place for you to be!
Love,
PS. I’d love to hear what activities you did to connect to your intentions! I invite you to share your thoughts and ideas with us in Thriving Mom’s Collective FB Group!
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
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