How does your garden grow?
Your Magenta Monday Magic.
Now that Spring has rolled around, you may be thinking about digging your hands into some garden soil. I know I’m looking forward to seeing some colorful new blooms emerge in my yard, and that’s got me thinking about growth – and about how much our gardens are like our relationships.
We only get as much out of our relationships as we put into them. We need to dedicate time and energy to them, cultivate them, and tend them like a garden, for them to flourish and grow.
And we also need to know when to nip them in the bud!
As Moms, we may also experience unique challenges and situations such as a "mom midlife crisis." Our lives as Moms are filled with all different kinds of relationships. We have the ones closest to our hearts – our kids, our significant other, our friends – and then the ones a little further out – at work, in our religious community, and with people in volunteer groups or sports teams we belong to.
Relationships are a critical piece of living a vibrant, BRIGHT life.
“We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as were meant to be. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache … The absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering.” Brene Brown
Every relationship we have contributes something unique to the intricate system that supports us and gives our lives meaning – contributions that can’t come from just one source alone. Our friends bring us joy. Our spouses/partners know us better than most, and our kids, well… they’re special in a way that no one else compares to.
It’s a really long list when you stop to think about all your relationships! And we haven’t even touched on the one that’s most important of all: the relationship we have with ourselves.
It’s the one that often falls to the bottom of the list…. because we get so busy giving our time and focus to all those other relationships. But it’s the most crucial.
It’s the one we need to cultivate before we can nourish all the others.
As you navigate through the transitions of life, such as the empty nest phase, it's important to take the time to focus on reinventing yourself after empty nest. You see, your relationship with yourself impacts all of the other relationships around you. As you grow and evolve, and your picture of who you are and what is important to you shifts, so do your connections with your partner, your kids, your parents, your friends, and everyone else.
Once you commit time to yourself and elevate your needs to the same level of importance you place on everyone else’s, you may start to notice that some of your current relationships don’t really support you in the way you need (or want) them to.
That’s when you might reach for those garden shears…. Or maybe you start asking:
Does this relationship align with how I want to live my life?
Is this a mutually fulfilling relationship or is it one-sided?
Does this person support my needs or are they only interested in how I fulfill theirs?
These are the kinds of questions I discuss regularly with my clients who are just starting to get to know themselves.
When you are an empty nester, finding purpose can be a challenging task. What I’ve found with myself (and with my clients) is this: when your relationship with yourself is really strong, and your sense of self really clear, you may find that so too is the filter with which you view your relationships. The misalignments become even clear and you might find the discrepancies less tolerable which could lead to the ‘pruning back’ some of your relationships. You’ll trim back the time and energy you put into some, and even let go of others that aren’t nourishing you in the way you need or deserve. And that leaves more of YOU for the relationships that do matter.
This month we’ll focus on a different aspect of your relationship with yourself each week. We’ll explore some different ways that you can cultivate and grow the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So stay tuned…
It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.
This month’s Mindshifts are all about committing to consistent, regular action every single day – what we call the 1-degree shift. Approaching change that way, with small actions done consistently and repeatedly over time, is super powerful! It’s been proven to make the most lasting impact over the long term.
When you commit to putting a stake in the ground for you, you send a message far and wide that YOU are worthy of the same TLC you have given everyone else all these years.
Even more important than that though? You send that message to the one person who may be the toughest critic of all – yourself!
Inquiry practice: start with 10 minutes of quiet contemplation EVERY day. You can do this while you drink your morning coffee, or even during your morning walk, whatever works best for you so you can be consistent. What it looks like isn't important. Just ask yourself questions like ‘what lights me up?’ or ‘what is important to me?’ If you need a little help coming up with some questions, download this Self Inquiry Worksheet.
Whatever comes up for you – record it, and DON’T EDIT! After all, a big part of this practice is learning how to tap into the answers that are inside of you and the first step involves getting quiet enough to hear them.
And if nothing comes up? No worries. Keep at it…. and I promise, just as your garden grows bit by bit with consistent water and sunshine, it will get easier each day to tap into what really matters most to you.
I’m really excited for you!
PS. I’d love to hear what activities you did to connect to your intentions! I invite you to share your thoughts and ideas with us in Thriving Mom’s Collective FB Group!
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Click on my calendar link to sign up for a FREE 45-minute Pathway to Purpose Breakthrough Session now.