Are you ‘should’ing’ all over yourself?
Your Magenta Monday Magic.
Last week we talked about living life on your own terms and made actionable steps to make it happen!
You can’t create your authentic life if you are living according to other people’s expectations of you.
This week is all about taking the stories that others have used to shape you, and rewriting them as your own truth.
Are your stories and beliefs or even the things you commonly say learned from conditioning when you were young?
Or your own experiential experience made them true?
When you were younger, it was easier to follow along with societal expectations and norms.
You were just getting established, so it was easy to fall into the “as a mom I ‘should’ do this” or “as a wife, I ‘should’ do that” trap.
The way you shape your life and ultimately your identity comes from your peers, your family, your community, your church, your work, and is shaped by our society in general.
Then as you get older, your kids become more independent and start to need you less. You have more time to think about your own needs and what comes next. You begin to get curious about your own interests and how you want your life to look.
And as you do, there is no more room for ‘shoulds’ or what other people think. But guess what? They don’t just go away. No. If you’re anything like I was, those fears continue to play a role as you worry…
What will other people think? What if I fail?
That, my friend, is where Bravery comes in. In fact, it’s a critical component of your self growth journey.
This is about standing in YOUR power, and Bravery will help you get there!
ACTIVITY: Identify what areas of your life you have been letting other people's expectations dictate your actions.
Example: If your parents told you, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” then that belief may have shaped your concepts and beliefs about spending. If you think about where money does comes from…it is made from paper and does grow on trees! Have some fun with it!
Identify something you’ve been wanting to do. Example: starting a company, signing up for yoga or starting a meditation practice. Then ask yourself - What is preventing me from doing this?? Write it down. Maybe it’s fear of what other people think or excuses such as ‘because this is the way we’ve always done it’ or ‘because you’ve never done it before.’
Think about where that idea came from. Maybe it’s your grandma’s voice? Your mom’s advice? Your best friend’s idea? Your husband told you that? A professor in college?
Then ask yourself - is that fact? Or interpretation? Chances are you’ll find that the majority of reasons you come up with are interpretations. And you know what those are? Opinions. And you know what opinions are? Oxford Dictionary says - ‘a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.’
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.
So there! Why are you letting someone else’s view about you that isn’t based on fact dictate how you live your life?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts and responses to this week's “thought excavation” exercise. I invite you to share what you come up with in the Thriving Mom’s Collective FB Group.
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
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