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3 Keys to Cultivating a Life You Love

If the world ended tomorrow, would you have any regrets?

When I asked myself that question many years ago, the answer was a resounding ‘Yes’.

I had become comfortable accepting my life as it was. I mean, who wouldn’t? I had a beautiful family, a nice home and a good job. From the outside it looked like many other young families around me, but the truth was I was crumbling inside. All that running around juggling marriage, kids and work was exhausting and I had too little time for myself. Many nights were spent awake wondering, “Is this all there is?”

But doing something about it was just too scary. First, there was the question of where to start. I knew I needed something just for me, but had no idea what that was. And if I was lucky enough to figure it out, how could I justify taking time away from my family to do so? So, I just kept on doing what I was doing - trying to be the best mom and wife I could be and convincing myself that maybe this was as good as it gets. Meanwhile, I was in a state of complete emotional paralysis.

‘Pain pushes until vision pulls’ - Reverend Michael Beckwith

Like Reverend Beckwith’s quote, my unhappiness and complacency left me short-tempered with my kids and husband. I wasn’t mindful of those joyful moments that came and went unnoticed. I realized that something had to give! I had to take back control of my life! I started exploring new things I’d always wanted to try, such as drawing and painting. I journaled and read some self-help books. Little by little, I started formulating a vision for myself and who I was BEYOND being a great mom.

As I started to find my legs and began carving out that time for myself, I found I became more balanced, present and centered. Little things didn’t seem to bother me as much and, as a result, my relationship with my family improved considerably.

Fast forward to today, and I am still a huge proponent of taking time for myself. Even though my kids are no longer at home, I have set clear boundaries and created a routine that enables me to incorporate the things I want more of - health, mindfulness, friendships, joy - into my life on a daily basis.

Over the years, I’ve found that there are 3 key things that have helped me to cultivate a life I truly love.

1. Intention - Live your life, don’t let your life live you.

Dedicating your life to taking care of everyone else can leave you in a pinball machine of sorts, being pushed and pulled in a million different directions. Now, it’s your time to choose. To intentionally create your life the way you want to live it. Identify those things that you want more of in your life and find ways to incorporate them. Whether it’s mindfulness, improving your health, spending more time with friends, or signing up for that writing class you’ve always dreamed about... start with one thing and routinely include it in your life.

2. Bravery - In order to create a life of intention, you’ll need to be committed to it.

Why? Because the more you push yourself out of your comfort zone, the more fear you will face. Fear of failure, what others will think, or rejection are very real and anyone - I don’t care who you are - who has ever pushed themselves into unfamiliar territory has felt it. And here’s a little secret: That fear is a sign that you’re on the right track. And you know what they say - it’s not fearlessness that makes you brave. It’s feeling that fear and doing it anyway.

3. Relationships - Humans are wired for connection, and people who report that they have a high level of satisfaction in their lives also have strong relationships.

Relationships with your family, friends, partner or within your community not only provide a support network when you need one, but also make our daily lives richer and more enjoyable. We often forget that relationships don’t just happen. They take work and effort to reach out and stay in touch. I relied heavily on my relationships to help me through my life transformation, and I work hard to continue to stay connected to the people I love. The rewards are so worth it!

Of course these are not the only keys to cultivating a life you love, but if you start there, you’ll find that it will make the journey that much easier!

Live Brighter,


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Thank you Brenda! I'm glad you found some value in the post!


Brenda Colgate
Brenda Colgate

So many 'golden nuggets' in this posting. Each bullet point could be a book! I totally agree with working towards these; intention, bravery, and relationships. You've hit on three very important pillars of being content with self and reaching towards being the best version of yourself. I often see people that seemingly have so much be SO unhappy. Going within and doing self reflection is key to living a fuller richer life. I'm trying everyday! Thanks Bridget!

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