My name is Bridget Belden. My life today looks nothing like it used to.
When I was younger, I had a vision of what my perfect life would look like and I worked hard to make that happen. I went to a good school, got a good job, met and married my handsome husband, Charlie, and had 2 beautiful kids. Exactly as I wrote it in my diary. We even had the Volvo station wagon, which - according to the younger me as recorded in my journal - was a sign I had ‘made it’.
On the outside we looked like any other young happy family. We did sleepovers and birthday parties and soccer games. But on the inside I was crumbling.
As much as I loved my family, I had this hole inside. I didn’t know what was important to me. What my purpose was. What I was passionate about. In fact, I don’t think I knew myself at all. I spent lots of time in my head thinking about how unhappy I was and beating myself up for it. It seemed like everyone else had figured it out. Everyone else was happy being a mom with their little family.
I felt like there was something wrong with me. I felt isolated and so ashamed because I wasn’t satisfied with the life that I had created.
On those rare occasions when I had a few moments alone I found myself wondering ‘Is this all there is?’
I’ll never forget the time I was out with some colleagues after a business meeting, and the President of our division sat down with us in the bar. We all were chatting and he said ‘let’s go around the circle and everyone say what you are passionate about.’ I froze. My palms got sweaty and my heart was racing. I knew that politically I had to say ‘my job’ and of course I would say ‘my family’ but beyond that? I had no idea and it terrified me. It felt so rote. Wasn’t passion something you are supposed to feel?
I struggled to communicate what was happening. I was trying to figure it out myself and had a hard time explaining to Charlie why the life we built together was no longer working. We were in counseling but just weren’t able to find common ground – I was miserable and he was terrified. The more I tried to spread my wings, the tighter he held on.
I was suffocating.
One night, I had a dream. I was standing on the edge of a cliff. I hadn’t yet mustered the courage to jump, but I knew I couldn’t turn back. The tension and the fear was palpable. I woke up in a sweat and realized something had to change.
I wanted to live a life of joy and passion. I didn’t want to wake up one day, look at my husband and say ‘who are you and where have I been for the last 20 years?’
In the weeks that followed, I made one of the most heartbreaking and difficult decisions of my life: I moved out.
I remember kissing my kids goodbye - my son hanging off my neck crying saying ‘don’t go’. I drove off to my apartment in tears, hopeful that one day they would understand that I had to do this and simultaneously realizing that I had no choice.
When I wasn’t with my kids on weekends and evenings, I started to explore activities that interested me so I could better understand what brought me joy. I began to develop a vision for what I wanted my life to look like: I wanted to do something fulfilling that had an impact on the world, I wanted to travel, I wanted to spend time with friends and family. And most importantly, I wanted to be present to my kids.
Charlie and I continued with counseling and workshops and thankfully after a lot of hard work decided to give it another try. We went away together and shared our vision with each other and planned our life the way we wanted it to look going forward.
Ultimately I discovered my passion for inspiring kids to take action in the community and founded a nonprofit called Ripple Kids. Empowering young people to make a difference in their communities made me feel alive. I had found my true calling. Before Ripple Kids I had never felt as passionately about anything.
I always wanted to share my story so that other women didn’t suffer the way that I did 20+ years ago. In 2016, I turned 50, my husband turned 60, Ripple Kids turned 10 and our youngest was headed off to college. It was then that I turned my attention towards exploring what sharing that story might look like and I started coaching.
I am so grateful that I am telling my story from a place of fulfillment and passion for life. It took many years and a lot of heartache for me to get here - I almost lost my marriage because of it. But now I can look back and really see a ‘before’ and ‘after’.
Before I was lost, uncertain of who I was or why I was here. I was following the path of ‘should's’, considering only what was important to others, or what they might think. I never stopped to consider what was important to me. I was mechanical, going through the motions and while I loved my family, it somehow didn’t feel like enough.
My ‘after’ is a life of joy and awe for this world we live in. I am so inspired by the beauty around me and find it in the little things - the flowers blooming in the early spring, the birds flitting about on the trail in front of me, the white fluffy clouds in a cerulean blue sky. I love my husband for who he is and who he has empowered me to become. I am in awe of my kids - now young adults - marveling at how much more present they are to who they are and what they want their lives to look like. I love traveling and eating good food and laughing with my besties until I pee in my pants.
I am so profoundly grateful for being on this journey - even in the hard times because they are what makes it all worth it. And without them I wouldn’t know joy.
Are you ready to become ‘you’ again? Are you wondering ‘what’s next?’ Are you looking for more than just ‘keeping busy’?
Are you ready to find your passion and purpose?
Wherever you are on your journey, just know you too can rediscover what is important to YOU – I can help you. Simply sign up for a free 45 minute Pathway to Purpose Breakthrough Session where we'll talk one on one to dig into one of your biggest challenges you're struggling with when it comes to finding fulfillment in your life. I'll put together a mini plan for you so you can begin getting on with your life!
Click on my calendar link to sign up for a FREE 45 minute Pathway to Purpose Breakthrough Session now. https://calendly.com/bridgetbelden/45min
Your life is waiting for you!