Updated: Nov 29, 2022
Your Magenta Monday Magic.
This week we are discussing one of the most important (and challenging) relationships in our lives - our partner or spouse.
As kids get older, and with every milestone, this relationship is impacted in a lot of ways over the years.
As you know, the most exciting life events can also be very stressful in an intimate relationship.
What you may not realize is with every new baby, career changes, balancing work, family and activities (and trying to touch base with friends) came an opportunity to grow together or grow apart.
Do you ever think, “How did we do that?”
If you have been together for a long time, you may be familiar with the ebb and flow of your relationship as you enter the various phases of dating, marriage, becoming parents and now, learning who you are beyond being parents.
Say it with me people - it’s another new season for your relationship!
My husband and I have been married 29 years this year.
I’m proud of that.
Was it always easy?
Was it worth it?
Although we went through a really rough patch early in our marriage that almost served its demise, we managed to get through it.
Of course, we’ve had to course-correct numerous times over the years- especially as kids left the nest.
We’ve argued about how best to support them and we weren’t always on the same page but one way or another, we both embraced each changing season of our marriage.
We have both continuously evolved separately over the years, each prioritizing time to seek out and explore our own interests and encouraging that in each other.
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."—Audrey Hepburn
I have been fortunate to spend a lot of time on my self-growth journey and gained a much better understanding of who I am as we enter this next chapter.
But now it’s his turn.
Charlie is of retirement age and has no intention of retiring yet.
While I don’t know for sure, I would think that for men considering retirement, it can feel very overwhelming when most of their adult lives, their role was to provide for their family.
It’s a tremendous amount of pressure, but at the same time, there was never a question as to what else they could do. It’s not an anomaly…you know it’s coming. And, just like that, all they’ve ever known goes away.
For Charlie, many of his questions and anxieties are around discovering his own interests and understanding how he wants to spend his abundance of free time.
It’s very similar to moms who are entering the empty nest and suddenly aren’t feeling needed as much by their kids anymore.
This is a huge transitional time for both partners.
When you stop to consider that each of you is going through huge identity shifts it’s no wonder we can lose sight of each other (and occasionally get incredibly annoyed).
If you only know each other as co-parents, getting to know each other beyond that - while at the same time you are each rediscovering who you are - can be quite the challenge!
But it can also be a very exciting opportunity to reconnect as if you’ve only just met. And in some ways, it’s true! Neither one of you has ever been before who you are at this exact moment.
Think about how you can find an opportunity to make a fresh connection with your significant other.
5 ways to reconnect:
Schedule in date night
Learn something new together (eg., a cooking class, or tennis)
Ask him how is day was and be interested / engaged in his response
Write random love notes or thank you notes and leave them in his lunch or bag to find later
Get away together for a weekend - just you and him.
In my case, "a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
Not sure what kinds of things you might like to do. Get lots of support and suggestions from other moms like you in the Thriving Mom’s Collective FB Group.
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
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