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Everything starts with you

Updated: Apr 18, 2023

Your Magenta Monday Magic.

Welcome back!

You are the most important person in your life.

And if that feels uncomfortable to hear or just feels untrue for you, I’m here to tell you that I hear you…AND it’s time to reclaim yourself!

For moms going through a midlife crisis, self-love is tricky territory because many of them may not be fully aware of who their ‘self’ is. But, in reality, that relationship you have with yourself is by far the most important one you’ll ever have. And nothing is worth compromising that.

Chances are when you start thinking about putting yourself first, though, it will feel weird and awkward – which makes a lot of sense.

You’re used to focusing outward and paying attention to what everyone else needs.

Reinventing yourself after empty nest means acknowledging that you’re used to doing everything for them, at the expense of yourself. And that may have made sense at one point when your kids were really young, but along the way, you gave up little pieces of yourself. You chipped away at you bit by bit and gave away so much that you don’t likely know what you’re all about anymore, let alone being able to put yourself before anyone else.

The thing is until you’re clear on who you are, and you know what’s important to you, you will continue putting everyone else’s happiness before your own.

And that’s no way to live.

Of course, I know that thinking about changing this is scary because it’s never easy to upset the status quo. It might seem easier to just keep on doing what you’re doing.

If that is a thought you can identify with, you’re definitely not alone.

That’s what we do – we tell ourselves all kinds of stories about why we’re not worthy of taking time for ourselves. And it’s a message that gets reinforced constantly by the expectations of our culture and those around us.

Although you may be hearing about ‘putting yourself first’ more often these days on social media, the truth is that those memes you scroll past do little to wipe away the message we’ve heard for years that taking time for ourselves is selfish. You may find yourself with more time to think about your own needs and desires and to consider finding purpose as an empty nester.

The thing is, if we don’t start looking after ourselves, no one is going to do it for us. No one else can tell us what matters deeply to us. No one else can tell us who we are. And until we know those things, we can’t truly love ourselves.

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kaur

It’s time to tap back into who you are, get comfortable putting a little more emphasis on your own wants, needs, and desires, and start truly loving yourself.

Until you get there, you can’t show others how to love you.

The Mindshifts this month are all about carving out some dedicated time for yourself every day to explore what matters most to you, so you can nourish and deepen the relationship you have with you.

You can’t build a life you love unless you yourself are on solid ground; unless you know what’s important to you, what you like, what your values are, what brings you joy, and how you want your life to look and feel.

And you can’t get there without tapping into what’s deep inside you.

When you set that time aside for yourself it might feel uncomfortable at first. After all, your ‘go-to’ for a long time has been to be tapped into everyone else’s needs while yours languished on the back burner.

Taking the time to ask yourself some simple questions – and then listening to the answers – is the way to start changing that. And when you make that commitment to yourself, honor it every day, you’ll strengthen the message you’re sending to yourself (and everyone else) that YOU matter. That you are deserving of your own time and energy. You’ll be teaching you and them how to love you.


Monday Mindshift

It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.

Continue with your daily practice of quiet contemplation. 10 minutes of quiet time to yourself every day is all you need. And if you can manage to go a little longer, that’s great too!

Ask yourself: What brings me joy? What do I feel pulled towards?

If you find it tough to answer questions like that, try thinking back to some of the things you used to love to do before your days were filled with all the responsibilities of being a mom.

These don’t have to be big, dramatic things – anything that brings you joy can make that list. You’re strengthening the muscle of tapping into what matters to you. You’re learning to pay attention to what brings you happiness – whether it’s big or small doesn’t really matter.

Again, do your best not to judge your thoughts. Aim for exploration and just notice what comes up. Try writing some things down so you can revisit them as the month goes on.

Next week we’re going to talk about how changing the relationship you have with yourself will ultimately shift the other relationships in your life.

Stay tuned!


PS. I’d love to hear what activities you did to connect to your intentions! I invite you to share your thoughts and ideas with us in Thriving Mom’s Collective FB Group!


Living BRIGHTer is...

B - Be Brave

R - Cultivate Relationships

I - Live with Intention

G - Practice Gratitude

H - Prioritize Health

T - Live your Truth

What is Magenta?

The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Click on my calendar link to sign up for a FREE 45-minute Pathway to Purpose Breakthrough Session now.


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